NYE WARNING~!!!!!!!!

Today is the very last day of 2010. So what have you achieved over the year? Have you done anything significant to your life? Well it doesn't need to be something really huge you see as long as it means something to you. Like have you done anything that you never thought you'd do it? I know i did. *cheers to that =) * So how was your 2010? I hope u all had a good one.

What about mine?? Shall we start recalling from the beginning of the year? Well i ought to say my 2010 did not start off too good as i was still going thru some really hard times that happened end of last year. It actually got harder or more heart-breaking i should say starting Jan 2010 after i found out the truth. The truth that was so hurtful i could barely breathe. It felt like it was the end of the world. I kinda felt i was betrayed at some point of time. But if you know me, i'm not a revengeful person. Yes, i was hurt. But i didn't blame anyone. I put all the blames on myself. Not to be a hero. It's just me. Foolish and naive - these are what close friends said about me for blaming myself for what happened. My besties kept telling me (until today they sometimes still bring it up) that real friends wouldn't do 'that' to me, 'they' don't worth my tears, and that i should stop caring for 'them'. Well i doubt i'd totally stop that. Coz after all i still treat them as my friends.

Anyways, it took me some time to actually get over what has happened. And i did. I got over it. But frankly if you were to ask me whether i totally stopped thinking about him, i'd say no. Because to me i think it is kinda impossible to completely forget a person that has made a huge impact to my life and that i truly love. All i can say is that i'm happy now and i will always pray that they will last happily forever. Because seeing him happy is the only thing i want. So what's so significant about this incident? Well i am back to who i have always been. Except in 2009. People around me are glad to see the cheerful me again. I myself too feel that i'm a happier person. I guess everything happens for a reason. And this incident has taught me alot. I learnt it the hard way as it cost me someone dearly. But like i always say - suck it up! Life goes on. So i picked up all the broken pieces and moved on. I learnt that even though people give up on me, I will never ever give up on myself! Because giving up means you are going to lose something. So i'm still very much proud of myself. I guess i grew the fuck up! Haha. *what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger*

Okay, sad things aside. I did something really SIGNIFICANT in June! I climbed Mount Kota Kinabalu - the highest mountain in South East Asia! Did you see that??!! The highest people the highest!! Ok i'm making it sounds like a really big deal here now. But it is the big deal to ME! *clap clap* =P  I made it all the way to the peak! Beat that! Grandma & mommy said i was outta my mind. Daddy is extremely proud of his baby girl! Teehee...=)  It was an awesome experience. It reminded me of how much i love the outdoors the adventures. Adrenaline junkie dad calls me. Daddy wants to do it too after i told him how awesome it was. Now i know where i got the gene from. ^.^  And i'm telling you it is a different world when you're standing at the top over-looking whats beneath you. It's not the ego you see. It's the achievement! You have to feel it yourself. It was hell of an experience. It was worth all the hardships and obstables. Heaven!

Other than Mount KK, another significant thing that i've done was that i learned how to say No. I've been warned many many times by family & close friends that i've got to say no at some point of time. I can't be doing everything for others. Neither colleagues nor friends. So yah, i've learnt to say no. But it seems like i'm breaking the rules again haha. But no worries, i will say no when i really can't be of any help.

Hmmm...what else? That i found myself really REALLY love kids? Haha. Well most people do i believe. Anyways, job wise.... I'm going back to work again on Monday after the 2-month holidays. Gears up! I guess i really like teaching. I have the passion for it which nobody including myself ever understand why this happened. Because i've always been the naughty and lazy one back in school. Who will ever believe that i'm a teacher now. Actually i kinda pity my students now haha! Coz almost everything they attempt to do, i'd know before hand. Why? Coz i'm kinda like "Ms Been-There-Done-That". So i know. Haha! All in all, i love my job! Things with colleagues are good too. Speaking of job, 2011 is gonna an EXTREMELY busy year! Syllabus changed, system changed, and pressure on! Well i hope my students' result will improve under my guidance and 'special treatment' haha. *fingers crossed & praying hard* 

Alright, have i done anything new this year except mount kk? Hmm...oh hell yeah! There are a few. Paintball in the muddy jungle. Driving range. Went into the casino & actually placed bets. Rock climbing. Yah thats about it i guess. These all gave me really good experiences and exposures. I'll definitely do it again. Except for the casino la. Lol.

Last but not least, I have made it a point to go away / travel alone for a few days every December. The purpose is for myself to rest n relax and to get ready for the coming new years. It's like a meditation break. Lol. This year i went to PD. Stayed at a pretty decent hotel - Avillion Admiral Cove. It was all good. I got to just lay down and think about what has happened this year, and think about what am i going to achieve next year. And i got all the rest i wanted. Bliss!

Now i've warned you from the very beginning that this is a LONG post! See the "WARNING" sign on my title?!! Haha. Alright, i'll leave my new year resolution for the next post. Till then everyone. See you next year! Tomorrow maybe haha.

~ HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 ~

that's y i need time that's y i need u to understand

let me open up and start again
but there's a safe around my heart
i don't know how to let you in
that's what keeps us apart........

the sweetest thing...

I have been ditching the gym for quite some time now. And since my tuition is cancelled today, so i went to the gym after work. To feel less guilty. Lol. Then 20 mins on the treadmill and i got a private number phone call. At first, there was nobody over the phone. Then along came some music. It was the sound of a piano being played. I recognised the song. It was Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade. And as i listened to the song, i teared. I guess this song meant something to me. Those memories kept popping up.

Anyways, tears aside. I couldn't really put in words how happy i was when i heard his voice over the phone! I have been missing him badly after he left Malaysia. We talked like how we used to. We teased each other like how we used to. We called each others' nicknames like how we used to. We were just like how we used to. It was all laughter. And i'm glad to know how much he misses me. =)

It wasn't easy for us. Especially the times when he was about to leave the country. He wanted to spend almost everyday with me. Same goes to me. Coz we both know we don't get to see each other for quite some time after that. And so we cherished every moment we had together.
We talked about a lot of things today. Like there were no boundaries at all. We enjoyed every minute over the phone. Anyways, he is such a sweetie pie! Lotsa love to him! XOXO..

CHEERS~~

so speechless...

*Mel^Mel*

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to my gorgeous cousin sista Mellisa Lee!!

*don't worry i aint gonna announce ur age here haha*

aint she just pretty...

together with my future cousin-in-law..

congrats on the engagement... cant wait for the actual wedding date!

Anyways, hope you have a blast today!

See ya tomorrow! Muacksss!

 

breathe in... breathe out...

everyone....

HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL /

HAPPY MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL /

or whatever you call it..

blue moon?? nah...nobody calls it happy bluemoon festival right..

now... thats better!!

though i dont understand the chinese sentences written in the pic..

Anyways, have a great one guys!

CHEERS~~

to my 200 kids

GOOD LUCK & ALL THE BEST

to all my 200 students who will be sitting for the UPSR exams starting tomorrow!

CHEERS~~



He's 4 !!

Danial Rumman LEE aka Romeo aka Babyboi

(my cousin's son)

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Babyboi !!

i'm telling you.. he is such a darling!!

i can't wait to see you and hug you and play with you and eat with you and sleep with you and tease you and pinch you and kiss you !!

faster come back to msia!

miss you heaps!!

muackssssss! *hugs*



cravings...

Karen and I went to Midvalley this noon. Wanted to watch Step Up 3 but the queue was too damn long. Trust me when i say that! Lol. Then it came to the where-to-have-lunch scene. We totally LOVE food. But food always make us headache when it comes to deciding what to eat. We always throw the same question to each other back and forth. Haha. But oh well it didn't take TOO long this time around. Karen said since i just had surgery, i had to eat something light. For example PORRIDGE! There u go. We headed to Canton-i for some chinese food right away. And i was such a good girl (yah i WAS, coz u gotta wait till u see what i had for dinner! haha!) I really ordered porridge! Thank goodness i love eating porridge too. Lol.

After lunch, we went to do some shopping. And the same thing happened AGAIN! Everytime I'd be the one saying i'm not buying anything. Everytime it ends with me getting all those papers bags in my hands! Like every single time!! Urgh!! I think i seriously need some help with this sickness. Haha. I'm soooo gonna cancel ONE credit card soon!

Then we decided to have something sweet. Dessert time! Yay! I suggested Pastis. So we were on our way walking over to Gardens. But i guess i was lazy to walk over there. We ended up having cake in Delicious when we walk passed there. See how lazy i can be? Haha. Even for desserts we had to do the "one-two-juice" to decide which cake to choose. Hahahah. In the end we had the banana pudding with vanilla ice-cream and hot caramel syrup. It was good.

banana pudding with vanilla ice-cream & hot caramel syrup

cute-ness

dumb-ness

hot-ness

speech-less

We left MV around 6pm separately. She headed back to her dear Edward, while I headed back to my beloved BROTHER! Haha. Had a dinner date with my bro. Picked him up and off we headed out for dinner. Jalan 222 Hokkien Mee!! Yum yum yum... So unhealthy but SO F*cking NICE! Haha.

hokkien mee and wat-tan-hor

look whos the hungry one!



the thumbs-up fried chicken

On another unrelated note, mom has been asking me to wear more clothes on as i just had a surgery and im having a lil cold right after the surgery. So she insisted I MMS her on my daily outfits. Gosh! And so today i did what i've been asked to do. Here are the pics for today.

the first pic i mms-ed

(got a reply in less than 1-min time. mom: put more clothes on darling!)

changed, and mms-ed mom again.

(mom: i can't see ur face!

me: i thought u only wanna see my outfit of the day!

mom: together with ur face pls. i miss u.

me: awww thats so sweet! but mom, im not good at camwhoring!

mom: nvm. i will still love u even if u look ugly.

me: i dun feel like replying you, mom!)



nah! together with my face! lol..

to the man i look up to the most

and to the man i love the most..

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!!

thank you for providing us the best of everything..

you really are the best father one could ever ask for..

I LOVE YOU, DAD !!

BBQ at the comfort of our home sweet home..

dad the club president making a speech.. haha..

all his friends..

my dad looks the smartest okay! muacksss..

KLIA - before i left for UK

the best parents award goes to them! ^.^

CHEERS~~

the reason

*counting with fingers*
I've not been hitting the gym for 3 weeks now. Hence the bloated tummy. The reason?? Its not because that i'm lazy. Well not totally. Heh. I was scheduled for a surgery last wednesday. That was why.

What surgery? Well...ain't gonna announce to the world here. But no worries, it was medium-risked, and i'm all good now. (duh! if not i won't be writing this here now)  The fact that i need to undergo full anaesthesia, that was the scariest part for me coz i was so paranoid. I was afraid I'd experience "Awake" ala Hayden Christensen in the same-titled movie - the one starring Jessica Alba too.

The feeling of being pushed to the operating theatre was exactly how they portrayed in movies / drama series. The sight of lights on the ceiling...the sounds emitted from the EKG machine...my hand being IV-prepared... wearing the robe (stark naked underneath)...the cold air... Hmmmm.

To be honest, the moments spent being on the 'bed', being pushed from my ward to the operating theatre was haunting. I almost teared. Luckily i didn't. Coz I believe, if i did, it would not stop. Haha. Thank goodness I managed to stay strong and held back my tears.

Anyways, thank you Dr S (the one who performed the surgery) and Dr R (the anaesthesiologist) for the constant assurance that everything will be alright. =)  I was surprised at my fast recovery despite feeling very drowsy when i first got out of the operating theatre, sleeping so many hours on and off.

Hehe. I still remember...one of the nurses was telling me (when she put a gas mask over my face).. "if you feel like sleeping, just go ahead..". And.... Poof.... next thing i know.. I've passed out. The moment i woke up, i was so blur. I wasn't even sure if the procedure has been carried out. I wanted to ask the nurse standing next to my bed..."It's done??".. Haha. Luckily i didn't. I would have looked / sounded so silly. Finally got a confirmation when i felt a slight pain. Lol.

And thank god the hospital has all my favourite channels on tv. I spent my time there watching premier league and tennis us open. And also a couple of movies like X-Men Origin, Rush Hour and Surrogates. I just realized i did not lose any weight at all for being sick. In fact i put on weight! Damn. I guess its because all i did was eat and sleep. Hence the extra kilos. Sigh. Gotta hit the gym soon!!

you are missed

It has been a week now since you've been gone. We still think about you alot we miss you dearly. Granny and aunt and mom and all of us sometimes still wonder why did He have to take you away from us. But we all know that you are gone for good this time. We're learning to accept the fact that you won't be coming back. We really miss you a lot.

Yes, life goes on for us. But not a day goes by without you being missed. Nope, not under my watch. We miss you dearly every single day. I think about you, how we used to play and joke around together, every night before i go to bed. We will live our life to the fullest and happily. This we promise you. Just like how you did, even when you were sick. You were so strong. You have set us a great example. Thanks coussie!

You take care k. We wish you well up there. Love you always.

your words couldn't set me free...

Grandma must go on an operation tomorrow, doc said. Yes. Tomorrow! It is that urgent! But grandma didn't want to undergo another operation. She's tired. Really tired, she said. It hurts me so so much seeing her like that. Tears just came out when i was showering. And i thought to myself. Why is this happening? Yes, i said something i told her the truth. If it was meant to be a punishment, punish me then! Stop making my grandma to go thru all these. I don't mind suffering. I don't mind going thru all the hardships. Shits happen to me anyways. So no difference. I just want people around me family friends to be happy and healthy.

A letter, i wrote. And put it under her pillow when she was asleep.

To the love of my life,

Yes. You are unquestionably one of the loves of my life. You are undeniably one of the most precious people in my whole life. I was born to love you. And i really do love you. A lot. I would do anything for you. I really mean anything. 

I know i hurt you badly. But as much as i hope that i could undo the things i did. I actually wouldn't. Because all i wanted was to tell you the truth. I didn't want to hide anything from you. But the words you said to me, they couldn't set me free. Now i'm stuck here in this life i didn't ask for. Your last words keep playing in my head. And they really hurt, you know.  

I'm sick. I'm tired too. In fact, i'm exhausted. Everyday i have to put up a smile to work to everywhere i go and pretend that everything is fine when i'm actually devastated deep down. I've been thru feeling betrayed by someone i dearly love. I know how it feels. I'm sorry i hurt you. But like i said, i wouldn't undo the things i said. Honesty, the third lesson you taught me when i was still a lil kid, remember?

I wanted to start fresh. I must move on. I know. I promised myself from the beginning of this year, the old Joey must come back! The old-and-better Joey. I am back! At least i think so. You know, it wasn't easy at all before i decided to come clean. Honesty was seriously the hardest thing for me at that point of time. But i did what i had to. And i'm really sorry.

So please forgive me. I miss you. I really need you to be with me. I couldn't and wouldn't even imagine my life without you. Most importantly, please be healthy and stay strong. You being sick is the last thing i want k. So please stay healthy always. Whether or not you'd forgive me. I will always love you. 

Love, 
Joey.

She will be fine. I'll pray hard. 

eenie meenie minie mo.... urgh!!!!!

i can't decide!!!!! how how????!!!

Blackberry Bold 2 White

OR

Apple iPhone 4

?????

previously

just some photos from the other day...

can't-wait-to-go-out-with-dad look..

garden salad, loved the salad dressing..

some thai steamed seabass

dad wanted a nice shot for his fb profile pic...so vain! lol..

he may not be the world's most handsome dad.. but he's the world's greatest dad to me..

i love you max, dad! =)

seriously delicious cheeseburger

YM

very nice pappardelle with ceps (we licked the plate clean! haha!)

button-mushrooms and tiramitsu

ME

it was all good.. until...

i took sick leave today as i was having stomach upset. it was all kfc's fault! anyways i was over the top when daddy called this morning. we were going out for brunch and do a little shopping. (shopping! he said shopping! how cool is that!) and so i just kissed my stomach upset goodbye. retail therapy babeh! oh yeah! i like! 

so off i went to shower. didn't even have time to put on any skincare product. coz dad was downstairs waiting. not that he'd mind waiting for his beloved daughter. it was me! i cant wait to go makan and shopping u see. haha! so i just roughly dried my hair and slipped on a pair of jeans and topped with a polo-T. then off i go. once i got into the car. i hugged my dearest daddy real tight.

dad: i........i.........i cant breathe darling...

me: oh...oops.. sorry.. ppl miss u ma..

dad: yah i know... i miss u too.. but i know the real reason behind this real-tight-hug.. coz i just said shopping over the phone!

me: -damn-


anyways, we went to delicious for lunch. it was a pretty heavy one. dad has always been a small eater. but he made me ate soooo much today. god i really should stop eating like a cow and starting puasa-ing. haha. it was quite a long lunch. we talked alot and laughed alot like nobody's business. or should i say we crapped alot. haha! well i guess dad knows that im stressed up lately. so we didn't touch on any serious topic. except that he asked me if my youngest bro is dating at the moment. (well its not actually a serious topic. so yah. and i wonder since when dad starts to busybody bout this. it has gotta be my bro's phone bill i guess. haha!) good luck dad! *fingers crossed*


then the real thing kicked in! (and stupid me i forgot to pull off my puppy-eyes-look!)
dad: u know... though i said shopping... yah u can today.. but only on necessities u see.. u need to control ur spending.. stop buying things u dun need... (and i thought we'd not touch on serious stuff hah!)

me: i need a bag daddy...

dad: like i said my dear.... necessities... things u really really need...

me: yah.. i know the meaning of necessities dad... thats what i said... i NEED a bag...

dad: *rolled-eyes & saying my-gawd* u dun NEED a bag darling... u just want it... and u have so many bags already..

me: fine... i'll just work my ass off and save up and buy on my own then.. so go back and tell mom i wont be able to buy house by this year k.. (im surprised that i didn't use my puppy-eyes-look!)

dad: *palms slapped on his own forehead* i sent u to school and u dun understand the definition of necessity.. btw fyi im not forcing u to buy a house.. it was never my intention.. u know very well its mom's tactic to make u stay.. so u have gotta tell mom on ur own.. (evil-smile)

me: u...u.... u ditched me! u ditched me dad!! i cant believe it!! (after a minute of pausing) fine.. necessity it is then.. i lost my e-dictionary.. so i want an e-dict..

dad: u want or u need??..alright alright.. since it sounds educational.. e-dict it is then.. lets go buy now..

me: but bag sounds educational too dad... i can teach my kids to pronouce Chanel, Hermes, LV, YSL...etc... bla bla bla... alright.. i shall stop before u strangle me.. thanks for the e-dict dad! =)


so i guess today was HIS shopping day. not mine. i was just there to give opinions/advices here and there when he tried on many many clothes. now u know where i got the gene from. i meant the shopping habit. haha! anyways dad always goes to me when it comes to clothes and shoes and all. mom too. apparently i have good tastes. haha! (good to know)

well at least im not empty handed today. got an e-dict which cost dad RM1500. im more than happy with that one thing. see...its not THAT hard to make me happy. haha! really...seriously...its NOT hard at all. =)


-------

dad went for a dinner appointment. and i had my dinner with ym @ alexis gardens. i was soooo happy to see her. we were chatting and laughing all the way to alexis. then guess what?! k and w were dining there too! what a small world. its a wednesday somemore. who would expect this. rare. it was my first time seeing them together. they look great. happy for them. initially i wanted to go over to say hi. but they were with friends. so i didn't in the end.

i was rather disappointed that she never say hi or bye. even ym could see that im a little upset about it. she felt weird too that w just walked off like that. and i thought what did i do wrong? i still very much treat her like a good friend. but ym emphasized that i didn't do anything wrong. my other closed friends said the same thing to me before too. they always screw me for putting all the blames on myself.

maybe i should just get over it. yah i should. coz all i ever wanted is for him to be happy. them. and since they are now, i should be more than grateful. im really glad that w made k a happier person. =)


--------

basically im very very very happy today. had a great day hanging out with dad. father-and-daughter-day-out! what more could i ask for. =) and also nice catching up with ym. she's such a sweetie pie. xoxo.
i just realized this is such a long post. who would wanna read this huh. haha! its been a while since i last blogged a long post. my god! im amazed now. haha!


till then. sleep tight and good nite everyone. CHEERS!

//..it was only just a dream..//

.as much as i miss you...

after looking at the few photos he uploaded..

i feel happy for him.

am really glad that he's living happily..

with all the great things..

and most importantly with all his loved ones around.

when i look at you...

.....i really miss you..

when i look at you.. i see us..

right there where we belong...

the forgotten

Now that I remember,

I have a blog! haha! 

~CHEERS!~

sorry im late

i wanted to post this last night. but i couldn't. was not feeling well so i went off to bed early.

yesterday was my best friend karen's birthday! we've known each other for more than 10 years now. a decade babeh! we've been very closed to each other since we were 13. we started off as roommates. room 309 i still remember. it was a great year. a memorable one. all the roommates were wonderful. i miss them. i miss all the activities and silly things we did together, all the dinner we had, all the laughter and happiness.

karen and i, we slept opposite each other. back then she said i looked like garfield because of the garfield pillow that i hug to sleep every night. haha! she was a darling to me. she still is. and she always will be. she has been taking real good care of me ever since we were form 1. she's my nanny. hehe!

we did a lot of things together back then. both legally and illegally. hah! not that we don't do stuff together now. just that those were silly stuff we did when we were young. and i'm trying to reminisce! i'm nostalgic! lol. anyways, she's my best friend! we share everthing. happiness and sadness. except for lingerie those la! haha!

anyways, words can't really describe how grateful i am to have her as my best friend. i think she will know without me blogging every details here. haha! i love you karen!! and i will always be here for you!! nothing will ever change our precious friendship! you're irreplaceable!! =)

now, pictures pictures!  *look at how hot and pretty she became! slurpp!!*

(i know i'm not hot. just bare with me. or u can always look at my hot best friends only! haha!)

 celebrated her bday earlier that year before i left for UK

 PD

Malacca

her 23rd bday @ jogoya

camwhoring in my car... haha..

christmas eve dinner @ the daily grind

all my friends are such hotties!! yum yum..

library

her graduation!! so proud of her!! xoxo..

the gardens

our belated 10th anniversary celebration!!

Alrite... thats all for now..

CHEERS~~